Conversations tell us who we are.

One’s “self” isn’t something that springs forth from within, despite how we might feel it. Our identities can only be forged in relationships. As Kenneth Gergen, the author of 'Relational Being: Beyond Self and Community' points out, you are a mother when your child calls for you; a friend when someone phones to share an experience, a customer when someone asks, "can I help you?".

More to the point, we are all many selves, depending on who we are and who we are speaking to at  any moment. Even when we are alone, we carry in our heads the remnants of relationships and exchanges from our past where we may have been different selves. 

So the next time you see a much older person on the bus in the street, why not imagine the riches they are carrying around in their head, and then strike up a conversation. They will probably be pleased to have someone to speak with – and you might just discover a different self yourself along the way.

Image: www1.sulekha.com