I spend two days a month working at a medium-sized residential care home for older people. The majority of the people living there have varying degrees of dementia. I use the word ‘working’ advisedly because to be honest, mostly it hardly feels like work at all.
During the day, my role changes. In the morning, I host conversation groups. Firstly, an hour or so with a small group of people who have advanced dementia, then a further hour with a slightly larger group of people whose dementia is less acute. I have known a few of them for many years and consider all of them to be friends. Some struggle to speak now. All bear the challenges of old age and dementia with great dignity and generosity of spirit.
It is a privilege to hear their stories while they enjoy coffee or tea, soft fruit and biscuits during the first session, or a glass of sherry or fruit juice and crisps during the second. I mention the refreshments only because they help normalise and oil the wheels of socialising conversation. After all, we all go out for coffee or a drink, why shouldn't they?
In the afternoon, I facilitate dementia communication and life story workshops for the people who work at the home, helping them with techniques and approaches to communicating in care. Listening is key. In turn they compare and contrast their own life experiences, which helps to promote understanding and empathy between them as working teams.
Shortly after we met in 2008, their manager committed everyone working there, to recording the life stories of the people living there in personal autobiographical albums – "Collected Short Stories"© which we reported at the Dementia Congress in 2009. To date, with some ongoing encouragement and time investment by me, the carers and nurses must have created at least 50 albums. The research of a person's life required to create the albums undoubtedly contributes to more dignified and connected care. The albums often provide a centre-piece for funerals and are a fitting memorial to a person's life.
A personal “This is My Life” picture album built by a member of the care team, supported by the person’s family and/or friends, is not only a living commemoration of a life lived, but a celebration of the key relationships surrounding the person and an expression of trust, respect, dignity, understanding and often love.
The albums have revealed some extraordinary stories and led to some highly connected relationships between the people living and working in the home. The personal histories revealed help the carers to deliver better person-centred care while supporting and promoting the ethos of the home, which is pledged to delivering meaningful relational connection for everyone who lives, dies, works, or visits it.
This is a well-led home with a manager who is highly involved with “my residents, my relations and my staff”, as she puts it. I would have been pleased for my mum to live in such a home. The home recognises that while things may not always be perfect, promoting a culture of real appreciation of people's lives, of learning and self-improvement, make self-esteem more possible – and therefore good care more likely. Sometimes it can be a good thing to take such things personally.